Friday 25 May 2012

"Pedro the Pedo"

FYC: "Pedro the Pedo" - Heart-warming tale about a racist young Tea-Party activist who hates immigrants so much, he decides to take one for the team by assuming an identity as a gay murderous Mexican child-molester, crossing into Mexico and then wet-backing into Texas where he will live out his life washing dishes at Denny's and skulking around playgrounds, until he is finally brought to justice and executed, in the hope of creating a wave of anti-immigration rioting, staying in character till the end. Famous for the stirring voice-over as he sits awaiting justice, in which he explains that the children's sacrifice will not be in vain, and that "...those beautiful American angels were corn-holed and killed by me to defend the spirit of the Founding Fathers."

Starring Christian Bale as 'Pedro' and Danny De Vito as the Latino hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold who protects him when arrives barefoot and hungry in he Houston after crossing over, whom he promptly drops a dime on to the immigration authorities. Also starring Vin Diesel as a steel fence-post at the border.

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